Marilyn has hated herself for being kinky since puberty, and she avoids thinking about it as much as possible by throwing herself into her schoolwork. Over the years, she has come up with several methods of punishing herself for the kinky thoughts that go through her head, because she believes they are sinful. As an introvert hiding a shameful secret, Marilyn spends most of her days studying accounting in her dorm room instead of socializing. All of that changes when Marilyn’s mother cajoles her into doing some volunteer work with the student Christian group on campus, where she meets Ford.

Ford, the volunteer coordinator for the Christian group, is friendly and outgoing, and Marilyn is shocked when he expresses interest in her. They get to know each other during their volunteer work, and Marilyn finds herself attracted to Ford’s natural dominance. But having a dominant boyfriend only brings her kinky thoughts to the surface, and then those thoughts make her want to punish herself more often.

Will Marilyn be able to keep her shameful secrets from Ford? And if she can’t keep her secrets, will she lose him forever if he finds out?

Publisher’s Note: This sweet romance contains depictions of self-harm, domestic discipline, and power exchange.


Clenching her jaw shut, she glared at him and crossed her arms.

“Your body already knows what it likes; your brain just has to be re-trained to accept what your body is telling you.”

She shook her head, wanting to dispute his statement loudly, but the side of herself that she’d recently started thinking of as submissive wasn’t willing to flat out disobey him.

Pushing himself off the counter, he took a predatory step toward her and said with a lascivious smile, “I’m going to pull down your pants.” She took a step back, shaking her head, but he took another toward her. “Get down on one knee.” She backed up again, and he stepped forward. “Put you over my raised thigh.” Whimpering, she took several steps back and bumped into the refrigerator. “And spank your bare bottom just hard enough to sting a little bit.” He stepped up close so that they were inches apart, but he didn’t touch her. “Then I’m going to order you to masturbate tonight when you get home, and I won’t stop spanking until you agree.”

Her entire body was vibrating with sexual tension. Her clit was throbbing with need, her nipples were erect, her pupils were dilated, and her brain was screaming no. She was about to open her mouth and say what she was thinking, but he spoke before she got the chance.

“So now you give me a color, because the word ‘no’ isn’t going to stop me. In fact,” he paused as if thinking it over, and then nodded to himself, “maybe that’s the key to getting you what you need.” He reached out and cupped the side of her face with his hand. The lascivious smile was gone, and in its place, was sincerity. “Go ahead and say no if it helps. You can protest, you can struggle, and you can say no the whole time, and it won’t even slow me down.” He leaned down, gave her a soft kiss on the lips, and whispered in her ear, “It’s not a sin if I’m forcing it on you.” Taking a step back to give her space, he said, “Green, yellow, red, or no. What’s it going to be?”

His whispered words circled in her head again and again on a loop. It’s not a sin if I’m forcing it on you.Shuddering with immense relief, she whispered the word, “No.”

As he nodded, he gave her a teasing smile and asked, “What was that?” Turning his ear toward her, he cupped it with his hand. “Did you just tell me no? Because I’m pretty sure that’s what I just heard, and I’m not going to put up with that kind of disobedience from my submissive girlfriend.”